why was it like that?
when accidents happen, den people will start to take precausion?
why is it when dead is involved people den will cherish each other?
why is it when we lost something, den we will realise everything was only a small matter?
why is it when he can hear us no more then everything starts to reveal?

anyway.
i sent derrick koh off on thursday noon.
ALL the way till his very last moment on earth.
(:
i m happy.
though i know he'll be sad seeing all of us cry.
but i believe, he's a happy man now!

i though that #stjames is finally together as a piece after derrick's death.
but i doesnt seems so today.
when everyone started acting very weird.
and stupid.

just some stupid attention seeker.
and debeers was so right.
they are simply one of a kind.
why must i be bothered by it so much.
or maybe whatever he does was just wanting to prove to debeers he's better.
and faking his emotions..
argh~
i hate it.

forget about it.
(:
smile and concentrate on my upcoming common tesT!
allow me to earn a little bit pocket money this weekend and i promise to be a good girl the whole of next week to start hard for all my upcoming papers.
(:
i will do it.

i must prove to derrick i m his strong little sister!
(:
though i had a very bad opening this semester and it's so freaking terrible, i believe if i work hard, everything will turn out smoothly.
i want to be my happy girl and i will den lessen dreek's burden for a little little bit.

oh, did i mention i dream of dreek?
yes i did!
though its a very vague one, but i least i see him in my dreams.
at least, i can dream of him...

(:

please pardon me for mentioning him thoughout lots of my entries.
i seriously couldnt help me.
give me time to return my sadness it's freedom.
i promis i will be a happy shijie again.
and hopefully, no longer "bubu"
cuz this nick brings me sadness.
i m happier with shijie and not bubu.
(:



okok.
i wanna sort out my timetable and my notes and prepare for a hectic studying next week.
(:
after next week, i will have a good rest 2 weeks.
oh. i doubt so cuz i have lots of projects deadline due after that.
but allow me to have sometime to think of how to celebrate my 18th birthday.
i want it to be a real sweet one!
(:

and....
i finally painted my finger nails today.
for a long time, i always waste it.
after painting the second layer, i will never carry on.
i will den remove it cuz i simply cannot take the uglyness.
for today.
i finally done a manicure myself.
argh~
though it's so not perfect, but nevermind.
good try (:
practice always makes perfect! and i believe i will make it perfect.
i wanna take up manicure lesson and mommy already promise me that she will give me money for manicure lesson!
den i will open a little manicure shop at my house balcony and charge my friends with the cheapest amount i can!
(:


so waiting for that day to come!
oh. i guess maybe during august bah, where i have my 2 months of holiday again!
(:
and not forgeting, taking my driving license!

COOL planning!




back to work now.


/me goodbye.

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