i m so freaking pissed now.
damn that freaking bitch JOYCELYN!
i didnt want to write names but she really pissed me off like nobody's business.

can u imagine ur gf always side someone?
apparently, i m facing it now and yet, i ought to take it and treat it as nobody's business.
its likE! can she say to them like oh dont ask her for the mj session. NO!
-.-
fine.
since everything's been so bad now, i shouldnt get so pissed with it.
obviously she's not been bothered by me hating her so much and yet she's not doing anything to avoid meeting her, why must i get so damn pissed and hurt myself even more!
absolutely nope!

oh, the worst things is, i asked her to bring me along for their mj session. but i wasnt allowed to do so because DAN didnt bring her gf along too!
so then i realise, if none brings gf along, im not suppose to go.
how happy can i be!

she didnt make an effort to pursuade her friends.
she can tell her friends, that she will be in camp and she cannot meet me that often, that's why she wanna bring me along. i seriously believe that if she did all this, her friend cannot possibly tell her off and say, "OH, GFs TOTALLY NOT ALLOWED."
what the hell?
hais.
as i said, endless disappointments.

dreek's favourite quote, " NO EXPECTATIONS, NO DISAPPOINTMENTS."

so did i held too much expectations on her, and thus i m feeling so disappointed now?
i hope she could do more.
her first weekend out of camp, after like countless weekends locked in camp.. but she wasnt with me. great singapore sales have been on for months. yet i didnt go to town area to have a good shop with her. how great is that...

i think, she's having mentality that she's meeting me ALOT... apparently that's not the case. ALOT? yea, wednesday, thursday, friday, sunday... MY time.
but... have of my time i will be in school.
where can we go after that when i have countless of projects to be done?
so all our meetings will be like... MEET ME AT MY FREAKING BED AND SLEEP.
wake up at freaking WEE hours and leave my house before anyone wakes up.
-.-
i m SAD.
but she dont bother.

all she know was DAN gotta book in on sunday and she HAVE to meet them on saturday.
i dont understand why.

no matter how i explain how bad the situation between us was, she still dont get it. she still can feel that nothing's wrong between us now.
cuz i m so easy to pacify, although i do nag ALOT but never mind. at most 5minutes of sweet talks and hugging, and i will be perfectly fine~
OH, it's so freaking true!

/me rolled eyes.

why m i doing all this?
why m i taking all those nonsense?
why m i so easy to pacify?
because i dont wanna freaking make a big fuss and be a bimbO!
i cherish this relationship and i wanna last it!
that's why no matter how unhappy i m, i still put up a happy face and so that you will love me and will not initiate a breakup.

i really dont get it... just a simple mj session.. and i wasnt even allowed to go..
i m sucha bother?
i m sucha irritator?

hais...
endless sighs~
endless heart breaking nights.
endless sleepless nights.
endless cryings to sleep.
endless swollen eyes.

can u treat me better den u treat anyone else?
i hopefully pray for it.

(:

/me is a happy girl!

i should enjoy creating my bubutea and enjoy the whole process of the bazaar and enjoy my life to the fullest! :D:D:D:D:D

SIGH~

self-entertainment.
i m simply trying to physo myself to make myself feel that i m the happiest girl and most xinfu girl on the earth.

when i know deep down in my heart, i m not.




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