Thursday, July 05, 2007
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FUCK IT. i went to school today, once again, with my very swollen eyes. Big eye bags and singled eye lid. mind you, i always have a doubled eye lid but whenever i cried myself to sleep the last night, my eyes will become swollen, so swollen until my doubled eye lid cannot be seen. whatever the reason is that makes me cry, let's forget about it. because crying is a never ending part of my life journey.
firstly, i cry whenever my parents scream at me. they dont have to hit me nor slap me. as long as they raised their voice at me, and i felt that its really my fault, i will cry.
secondly, sometimes when i feel loney at night and when my thinking starts to go astray, i will start thinking that my mommy and daddy are becoming older and older as each day passed. i can see mommy looking older when i talk to her. her teeth are chipping and she told me that she will need a fake teeth like grandma real soon. and daddy drinks and smoke. i m so damn worried that the bad effect of drinking and smoking will possess him soon. whenever those thoughts come into my mind, i will cry.
thirdly, inevitable quarreling and conflicts with dardar. everytime, or rather, most of the time i quarrel with her, i will cry myself to sleep. initally, i always thought that crying will make me win the battle. it always does at the beginning of our sweet relationship. but i m starting to feel that its useful no more.
fourthly, when your closest relative or friends are departing from earth and go to the third dimension. bad bad crying will always be the last gift from us to them. just like how all the #stjames people gives derrick at his very last moment on earth; at the mandai crementoriam. no one wants to let him sees us crying and sobbing. but how on earth can you not cry when your bestie is leaving you, knowing that you can never ever see him, hear him, nor feel him anymore?
lastly, graduation day. some people might cry because they flucked their results or some people might be crying because they scored extra well. but at the end of the day, everyone will cry because we all are parting the school. for instant, primary school, i cannot bear leaving kaixin, kimchoo and rachel. secondary school, i cannot bear leaving kerine and jiawei. and i bet for poly, i cannot bear leaving serene, yixiang and kurniadi. but, we still ought to accept all these facts that we are leaving for the better.
oh, i think i forget to mention one last point. BREAKING UP WITH YOUR PARTNERS. most of us end our bgr crying, whether or not is you or your partner initiating the breakup. if its me, i will still cry. but the cryings will not last more than a day. if my partner parts with me, i really cannot imagine for how many months will i then stop crying.
whatever it is, we should all still carry on leaving and cherish all the people around us. although we all know the rationale of "cherishing people around us before its too late", but will we really do that? ask yourself this question. whenever your friends need help, did you help? did you help your mom do the chores at home so that she'd get so rest? i dare to say, i did not do everything. only when your friends are leaving you, then you start to regret not doing this and not doing that.
i m sucha pain in my arse...
oh, another important thing. why cant i be as kiasu as my sister? and why cant i be as hardworking and motivated as her? but, this semester, i really felt the kick of studying hard and the very strong competition in my class. everyone seems to be extra motivated, extra hardworking and their grades are very good.
):
i usually start (not start but start to think) about when and how to revise my modules only when it is the previous week before our study week. but now, i have already downloaded the past year examination papers and will be printing after i bath in a short while. and i bet, all my classmates are already in the process of preparation for the end of year exam!
can you imagine that! -.- i m seriously worried that i will not do well because all the people in my class are giving me peer pressure. okay, not that they are forcing me to study, but seeing them so motivated and hardworking, i m so damn stressed up. i m worried that they are good and i will not be as good as them and i m worried that i will be scoring like fiak. i really dont want that to happen. thus, i hoped to be half as motivated as my sister because she is studying practically everyday, every night when she's at home for her 'O' levels. YOU KNOW! i only started studying my 'O' levels 2 weeks before they officially starts.
i m fainting soon, real soon!
off to bath.
:D:D:D:D:D:D:D
jiayou SHIJIE.KHONG!
Yours Truly
She's a fatass bitch. She loves gossips and smoking. Adores bad badtz maru, and loves lychee. Having regular meals and sleeping is not her hobby but merely for survival sake. She thinks that the evolution of mankind is the greatest mistake that mother nature has ever created. She's easily provoked, thus don't be her friend if you think she doesn't fit to be. Afterall, she can't really be bothered by it as well.
♥ Blogger
♥ Shijie
Khong.
27June, Cancerian.
Loves
red.
Bad Badtz Maru's
lover.
♥♥ Baobei.khong is my princess (:
Wishlist
`car of my own
`human sized bad badtz maru
`Bad badtz maru's Tee!
`Bad badtz maru's bedsheets
`visit to taiwan/bangkok/
hongkong
`visit to redang/bintan/tioman/phuket
`
great 20th birthday
`
Polaroid camera
`
New curtains
`more heels
`
Converse sneakers
`Singapore Flyers
`
Chained Bucket Bag
`
A tattoo (:
`
Pink polka dots hairband
`batam cable skiing
`Queen Sized Bed
`
Suntanning soon :D
`NUM Havaianas flip flop
`Polaroid Films
Calendar'09
♥ Jan01`New Year Day!
♥ Jan27`Brother Khong's Bday!
♥ Jan27`May's Birthday!
♥ Feb14`CNY Day1..
♥ Feb14`Valentine's Day
♥ Mar18`Sister Khong's Bday!
♥ Jun25`Gracey's Birthday.
♥ Jun26`Mummy's Bday!
♥ Jun27`MY 21st BIRTHDAY!
♥ Aug09`National Day!
♥ Oct12`Wenzi's Birthday.
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