i am really at a very foul mood now. i feel like crying, i feel like running away from reality. dear friends, nothing to do with mel this time round and no, i got no other lovers somewhere else too. she's still my one and only one love.

let's not say about those things that makes me really feel like running away.

yesterday, went MJ with jac, dan, zm and sy. fun fun fun because cai shen ye is finally beside me. Won around 35bucks. (: its been so long since i felt that i am lucky.
after that, drove damn fast to Changi Airport Terminal 2 because we are going to give Jacqueline a surprise visit. can see that she's damn happy and touched by seeing dan as dan told her that she's not going to meet her tonight.

how i wish that i can have this type of treatment from her again. i really misses those surprises a lot a lot.

went amk wanting to eat steamboat. but we had none. Mel came which really makes my heart go pumping like i'm gonna get a heart attack. didnt really talk to her. but seeing her there already makes me very pleased.

small little things like playing pool with her, playing soccer game with her already makes me very very happy. i really wanna know how she felt. i want to know so much so much but yet i cant ask anything.

stop reading here if you feel that you already had enough of my bullshit talking about how much i love mel.

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Yesterday, when i see her, i really really feel like pouring myself over. i feel like hugging her tight tight. resting my head on her chest and ask her...

me : Dar dar, do you know why i like to rest my head on your chest?

MEL : because its fleshy here. so its nice to rest.

me : no. i love it because its close to your heart. i can hear your heart pump. and then i feel that you are mine and that it gives me the sense of security.

that time, i haven start driving. so we were in bus 811 heading home.

Yesterday, when she is playing pool, standing in front of me, bending down, aiming for the balls. i feel like hugging her from the back and smell her shoulder. she so so so close to me, but yet, so so so far from my reached. i remember whenever she is cooking, i would love to hug her from her back and she will tell me that she loves me doing that.

Yesterday, when i was playing the soccer game with her, challenging jacqueline and dan. we scored a goal. i was happy. i jumped around like a small kid. i asked her to give me a high-five. but her high-five seems so weak and unwilling... it makes my heart shattered into pieces.

Yesterday, i tot i can finally send her home. i tot i can have a really good chat with her on our relationship when there's only the two of us. but however, before anyone can say anything, she volunteered to take a taxi home. i didnt wanna force her on anything since i already said from day 1 that i would give her ample time to think through. thus, i went home alone, feeling disappointed.

i'm trying hard to make myself feel normal. i'm sorry if i dont perform well enough. sometimes, its really hard to control this thing called Emotions. I am giving all my generousity out as well as my patience. i believe i can make it some day.

however, i really wanna wanna know desperately what is she thinking. she'd been knowing how m i thinking and my feelings towards her. but i've known none. maybe some, but i didnt get it from her mouth. i want to hear her.

i understand your obligations thus i m making no extra moves.
i understand your obligations thus i've decided to cry silently.
i understand your obligations thus i am not forcing you to make any decisions.
i understand your obligations thus even if i dont get to talk to you, looking at your back view is satisfying for me. (:

i hope you understand what i need too.

She's a fatass bitch. She loves gossips and smoking. Adores bad badtz maru, and loves lychee. Having regular meals and sleeping is not her hobby but merely for survival sake. She thinks that the evolution of mankind is the greatest mistake that mother nature has ever created. She's easily provoked, thus don't be her friend if you think she doesn't fit to be. Afterall, she can't really be bothered by it as well.




♥ Shijie Khong.
27June, Cancerian.
Loves red.
Bad Badtz Maru's lover.
♥♥ Baobei.khong is my princess (:



`car of my own
`human sized bad badtz maru
`Bad badtz maru's Tee!
`Bad badtz maru's bedsheets
`visit to taiwan/bangkok/hongkong
`visit to redang/bintan/tioman/phuket
`great 20th birthday
`Polaroid camera
`New curtains
`more heels
`Converse sneakers
`Singapore Flyers
`Chained Bucket Bag
`A tattoo (:
`Pink polka dots hairband
`batam cable skiing
`Queen Sized Bed
`Suntanning soon :D
`NUM Havaianas flip flop
`Polaroid Films


♥ Jan01`New Year Day!
♥ Jan27`Brother Khong's Bday!
♥ Jan27`May's Birthday!
♥ Feb14`CNY Day1..
♥ Feb14`Valentine's Day
♥ Mar18`Sister Khong's Bday!
♥ Jun25`Gracey's Birthday.
♥ Jun26`Mummy's Bday!
♥ Jun27`MY 21st BIRTHDAY!
♥ Aug09`National Day!
♥ Oct12`Wenzi's Birthday.